Fast Weight Loss Tips

3 Steps to Get Consistent Results with the Law of Attraction

The Top 3 Current Weight Loss Products on the market:

Lose Weight Fast System is a diet and fitness system for the female body that has taken a new approach to weight loss for women.

The Fat Loss Factor is A 12-week online weight loss program that involves a comprehensive diet and exercise regime in combination with supportive activities such as goal-setting and stress management.

Customized Fat Loss is a nutrition and workout program to help you burn off unwanted body fat and lose weight so you can get that great, healthy and sexy body.

The Law of Attraction is a wonderful law because it fulfills your hope that you have creative power over the circumstances of your life.
But how is it possible that you can get inconsistent results when applying a "law?" Doesn't the fact that you are applying a law insure that you get results every time you apply it?
Well you actually do, you are always getting exactly what you are attracting.
So what's the deal, why aren't you getting the results that you want? Try these three steps and see how consistent your results become.
Step One - Know what "LIKE" is not. You've heard the definition of the Law of Attraction, "Like attracts like," but have you ever asked yourself what "like" really is? Have you tried to change your feelings, thoughts, words, and actions? Are you getting the consistent results you want? Probably not or you wouldn't be reading this article. Then feelings, thoughts, words, and actions can't be the meaning of the word "like."
Step Two - Know what "LIKE" is. So we've established that "like" has to be something other than a feeling, thought, word, or action. What's left? There is something that we have not been aware of up until now and that is state of being. What is a state of being? It is an invisible experience within us that becomes physically manifested as a feeling, thought, word and action. It is the cause of every physical manifestation. So a state of being of happiness physically manifests as a feeling of happiness, a thought of happiness, words of happiness, actions of happiness and a perception of a happy reality. So state of being is the creative cause of everything else! Our new definition of the Law of Attraction becomes - Your state of being is attracting more opportunities to experience itself. Therefore, you are always creating opportunities to experience more of your current state of being!
Step Three - Stop trying to "use" the Law of Attraction. Are you consciously using the Law of Gravity? No, you are getting the results from it by fulfilling it. If you jump off a building you are fulfilling the law as much as you are by standing still and being held to the planet by it. It's the same with the Law of Attraction. You are always fulfilling it whether you are aware of it or not. So don't try to use it, instead get your attention on the creative cause of your experience, your state of being, and let the law do it's thing by attracting to you more of the current state of being you are experiencing.

Best New Weight Loss Product:

The 3 Week Diet is a revolutionary new diet system that not only guarantees to help you lose weight — it promises to help you lose more weight — all body fat — faster than anything else you’ve ever tried.

The Step Diet Review

Some diet books deal with radical or fad diets and some just have action plans you can roll out with. The Step Diet is the type of book where you'll read it and implement the steps contained within the day you get it. Radical fad diets do come and go, but this particular book isn't about eating a specific way like The Diet Solution PDF will teach you. John Peters, Bonnie T. Jortberg as well as James O. Hill were the people who came up with this idea and authored this book. Their teaching angle is to teach americans a motivational walking program that will help them start to discover who they are through walking. Walking is an activity that naturally helps you lose weight and is not stressful on your joints unless you are severely overweight. But it's a catch 22 because of you are grossly overweight then you need The Diet Solution Book and you also need to be walking each and every day. And if you're not, your body may end up invoicing you later in life. James O. Hill is one of the founders of the National Weight Control Registry.

How The Step Diet works in a nutshell is that you progressively add the number of steps you walk each week or day by making small changes in your daily routine like parking on the far end of the parking lot. Another thing they stress is to bring a pedometer everywhere you go, and don't worry this book is supposed to come with a decent pedometer which is used to track how many steps you take. I read somewhere once that walking 5 miles is roughly 10,000 steps and if the average person walks 2-3 miles per hour you figure if you walk for just 2 hours per day you're doing real good. Sometimes making positive changes in your lifestyle isn't about willpower but facing tough choices and asking yourself if that large cheese burger is really worth all the extra calories it will end up packing on you at the end of the day.

I can't say that the step diet is The Diet Solution but it could be part of it. Some day the pedometer that comes with this book isn't a quality pedometer and that you should go out and buy another one but that's just speculation. I think if a pedometer accurately counts your steps its doing its job. Customers who purchased The Step Diet have ended up losing dozens of pounds or more just by increasing their walking distance. Some have also increased their walking distance from a few thousand steps per day to over 15k steps each day which imho is a very impressive feat. Personally I tend to get excited when solid and practical weight loss information is released. It's great to workout and you'll certainly derive benefits from this but the key is to remain active throughout the day. When you start walking a couple hours each day your metabolism will speed up which will help your body burn extra calories each hour of the day.

Learn more about the The Step Diet book at our Total Health At Home Blog.

Are You Man Enough to Survive Your Wife's Affair & Hold Up Your Broken Marriage?

If you've recently discovered that your worst nightmare has come true - that the absolute most painful thing that can happen in a marriage has just happened - then you must have just found out about your wife's affair. The emotions and thoughts inside of you are threatening to rip their way out of your heart at any moment.
In fact I'd be willing to bet that every second that you sit here reading this article is DIFFICULT because the thought of the woman you love cheating on you is such a tender subject. I get it, I've been cheated on before (although it was a serious, long-time girlfriend that cheated on me, not my wife) so I know a little about what it's like. It's not fun to imagine her being intimate with someone else. Not one bit.
Here's a general overview of what we'll be covering in this article about 'how to get over my cheating wife':
* When is it best to move on after your wife cheated on you?
* Is your spouse still the woman you married?
* Learning to love a woman who isn't perfect
So here's the question you need to ask yourself right now:
Do You Have What it Take Forgive Your Wife?
I won't lie to you: getting over her affair is going to take both time and effort on your part, but I'm going to do my best to make things easy for you. After all, unfaithfulness in any form is something that can easily destroy even the healthiest of marriages - It's going to be an uphill battle.
It's actually kind of astonishing; I mean just think how much your marriage has changed forever, all because of that ONE moment where you found out that your spouse is cheating on you. That ONE realization was enough to send shock waves through the foundation of what you thought was a happy marriage. You're certainly not the first man to wonder "how to get over my wife's affair", and many that do never fully forgive their wife for cheating.
Do You Truly Want to Save Your Marriage, Or Are You Ready to Part Ways?
Another question men often ask themselves is whether or not they even WANT to save a marriage after being wronged so completely by their wives.
It's a legitimate question, and one that you should answer fully before trying to figure out how to forgive your cheating wife. If you already know in your gut that you'll never be able to love or forgive your wife, then it's better to cut loose than pursue a lost cause that'll just make it worse for both of you.
This is especially true in the "Once a cheater, always a cheater" type relationship, where your partner has been cheating on you for a while, and either can't or won't stop meeting her lover. Since she has made the decision to cheat on you, you should know that it will be much easier for her to cheat on you again in the future.
When things get bad in your marriage, and even the best marriages have rough patches, then you'll likely find yourself wondering whether or not your spouse is still staying faithful. That won't change from now on...You'll have to work hard to rebuild trust with your wife.
Is Your Wife Still the Woman You Married?
Why do you think your once trustworthy wife cheated on you? Do you think that she has stopped loving you and that's the cause of her affair?
I mean, you know that YOU are still the man she married, at least as far as you know. You need to ask yourself this question and answer honestly: Do you still love the woman you married? Do you believe she still loves you even though she's been weak?
Make sure you're looking past the tumultuous emotions that are currently battering your mind...Try and distance yourself from her affair and see things objectively, or from the big picture.
If You DO Still Love and Believe in Your Wife...
Then it's probably best to think of her affair as a mistake. She is only human, and everyone who's ever been married has gone through temptation in some form (but not everybody gives into it). If your wife cheated on you then you can just chalk that up as one of her many mistakes.
I'm willing to bet that you've made a few mistakes in your day as well?
It's often tempting in a marriage to assume that a healthy marriage is one where neither partner ever commits a sin, but the fact of the matter is that very few marriages work that way. In fact, I would guess that there's NEVER been a marriage where both people were happy the entire time. At least not happy in the typical sense...Even when you're mad or even disgusted with your spouse, you can be happy that you have someone to experience life with, a partner that you can count on and that, when all is said and done, you can (hopefully) still have love.
But this is something we often forget when we're married. We always want perfection at any cost. You do; your spouse does; everyone does.
I'm sure you used to think that the woman of your dreams was some sort of goddess immune to the sins of man, but she cheated and now you realize that, just like you, she's only human. And as a human, there will be times where she not only fails to live up to your expectations, but actively disappoints you as well.
Now, obviously I'm not trying to make an excuse for her, but I am saying that if you want to save your marriage you're going to have to recognize that she has faults just like you do. You're going to have to forgive her faults, live with her faults, and accept her faults as you accept your own.
Do You Think You Can Love a Wife Who Isn't Perfect?
If you can, and she is willing to do the same for you (and if she won't stop cheating, that's a good sign you should be moving on), then I can promise that it's only a matter of time before you and your lady-love are back on solid ground again.
In fact, I've seen more than a few couples who've come back from an affair with a stronger, healthier marriage than they've ever had before!
Sometimes infidelity can force you to confront and resolve hidden problems that have been plaguing your marriage in the background for years...Even if you didn't know it!
If you can control your emotional response to her affair and stop your mind and heart from living in the past, and force yourself to look forward to a bright new future, then I can promise you that in time your relationship will work. The only way for this to happen, though, is if you're very careful not to let the issues of your OLD marriage corrupt your NEW marriage. You need to make an effort to forgive her and then let old graves lie still, as they say.
If you feel the need to initiate an argument with your wife over something from the past, make sure you think long and hard before beginning a confrontation, and when you're arguing make sure you're actually looking for a solution and not just reasons to yell and fuss, or to make her feel guilty for cheating on you.
This is one of the keys to overcoming infidelity that many people fail at...They can't help but start fights because they feel the need to get even with the person who cheated on them, but it always comes back to bite them in the butt.
Don't let that be you!
So, Where Do You Go From Here?
I can tell you right now that 9 times out of 10, when dealing with infidelity and the many confrontations that it can lead to, it's better to let the sleeping dog lie until you have a clear solution or plan of action already outlined in your head.

Dealing With Weight Gain During Menopause

Aside from the myriad of symptoms that happen during menopause, weight gain is something that a lot of women are not happy about. Although hot flashes, night sweating, mood swings and a little bout with depression every now and then are really annoying, many women are more concerned about ...Aside from the myriad of symptoms that happen during menopause, weight gain is something that a lot of women are not happy about. Although hot flashes, night sweating, mood swings and a little bout with depression every now and then are really annoying, many women are more concerned about bloating and swelling during menopause because the weight gain seems to stay on even after this phase.
The declining levels of sex hormone estrogen experienced during menopause greatly affect a lot of things in a woman's body. The reason why those who are in their 40s-50s are feeling hot flashes, water retention and others is due to the body's reaction to declining production of estrogen.
The main cause of weight gain during menopause is water retention. When you age, the lymph system may not properly work anymore. Thus, water is retained inside the body tissues and cause edema, the medical term for swelling and bloating. The areas where edema is common include the legs, arms, feet, hands, and abdomen.
When you experience water retention, the first thing you need to do is consult a doctor. Edema may be a symptom of more serious diseases, such as chronic lung problems, heart ailments, damaged or blocked veins, and thyroid and kidney diseases. However, if the doctor says that your water retention is just due to hormonal imbalances, high salt intake, the weather, or things that are not very serious, then there are other things you can do to beat edema-related weight gain.
Lower Your Salt Intake
Too much salt in your body could wreak havoc to your kidneys. If you want to lose weight and reduce your swelling limbs, then try decreasing your salt intake. Furthermore, stay away from very salty snacks, such as potato chips, instant noodles, and other junk foods. Check the label and say no to foods that have high sodium content.
Exercise Regularly
When you were younger, you probably were conscious about your weight and body, so you regularly visited the gym and also participated in aerobic activities. Furthermore, you probably were more adventurous, gone to trekking trips with friends and participated in sports activities. But now, due to hectic schedule at work and too much things to do at home, many women end up forgetting the importance of exercise and moving around.
It is important to note that exercise is very important, not only for losing weight, but also for strengthening your bones and muscles and improving your heart's health. Ideally, you need to squeeze in gym sessions at least three times a week. But if you really are busy, doing stretching, jumping rope and other exercises while watching the television or waiting for the stew to cook are also good ideas.
Watch What You Eat
Another important factor in losing weight is reducing your calorie intake. You really do not have to starve yourself just to lower your caloric intake. The most judicious way to lessen the amount of calories you eat each day is by choosing your food carefully. Instead of grabbing a bag of potato chips, why don't you get an apple? In lieu of fat-filled porterhouse steak, you can always eat chicken, turkey or fish.
In order to become healthier, you need to take 9 servings of fruits and vegetables everyday. Aside from weight loss, eating plenty of vegetables could provide you with antioxidants, minerals and vitamins that you need to avert aging and to make your skin more rosy and glowing.
Go Natural
There are many things that are available in your kitchen that can help you with your water retention woes. Natural diuretics that you can try are green tea and ginger. Moreover, you can also take oral supplements that can help you deal with your swelling and bloating problems. One product that can help you get rid of water retention naturally is Expelis. Find out more about this supplement by visiting http://tinyurl.com/8jkw6ma

Clinical Vignette: Treating Depression

Eddie was first diagnosed with major depression at the age of 15. The roots of his depression were multiple. He grew up with two parents who neglected him emotionally. His mother only spoke Spanish, while Eddie only spoke English. This created a huge communication gap between the two of them. Eddie's father was also away most of the time for work. Additionally, Eddie's parents were legally married, but barely spoke to each other. Eddie was left to raise himself in a home that was very isolative. When Eddie, at age 29, walked into my office for his first session, I already knew by his body language that he was depressed. His shoulders were hunched in, his head was down, and he barely made any eye contact with me. Eddie felt sad, had a lack of motivation, withdrew from his friends, and had lost interests in the activities he used to do.
To cope with his depression, Eddie informed me that he would drink and smoke weed daily. He had been doing this for a year and a half. It took some convincing on the part of the psychiatrist, but Eddie ended up having a combination of therapy and pharmacological as his treatment regimen. I really had to work with Eddie through the stigma of taking medications because he thought he was "crazy" for taking them.
Treatment
Eddie's therapy sessions were once a week. I took a non-judgmental stance and really helped Eddie plan small activities to bring him back to a functional state. A very important aspect of treatment for depression is psycho- education. I gave Eddie information about what depression looks like and also encouraged him to read about it as well. (Note: it is important to rule out any underlying medical conditions for depression). An important part of Eddie's healing process was reaching out to his social support. I encouraged Eddie to talk to trusted family member(s) and/or friends. Once he got over the stigma, he disclosed to a few people that he was in crisis. When he shared with his friends that he was going through depression, a few of Eddie's friends also shared with him the problems they were facing at home. In fact, one of his friends was also experiencing depressive symptoms. As Eddie began to deal more with the root of his depression, he began to use less alcohol and weed to cope with his sadness. We spent many sessions processing his feelings of sadness regarding his parents' marriage. We also processed the lack of attachment he had with both of his parents and finding other means to get connected to others in a healthy way.
Eddie had to make some lifestyle changes to help treat his depression. He began to exercise regularly. Exercise is a great way to release some energy and boost serotonin, endorphins, and other brain chemicals. He also began to sleep better, which decreased his sadness and fatigue. Stress reduction was a big challenge for Eddie. It took some time to figure out what he needed to relax, but after experimenting with different coping mechanisms, Eddie began to use meditation as a means to deal with his stress.

Cardio Kickboxing Basics - Important Facts You Need to be Aware of

Cardio kickboxing is an aerobic workout regimen that features dancing, punching and kicking set to upbeat music. While it takes elements from martial arts and boxing, there is no body contact involved in this routine. Rather the kickboxing moves are done repetitively at a fast pace, causing heart and respiratory rates to rise. It is an ideal exercise for strengthening the cardiovascular system and getting rid of excess body fat. It began in the 1970s as karate and martial arts competitions began to grow in popularity in the United States. Instead of focusing on fighting, cardio kickboxing focuses on performing the moves to promote fitness and bodily health. While it can give an exerciser a basic idea of the proper ways of kicking and punching, it does not really hold any value in terms of self-defense. This is not a martial arts regimen but rather an exercise program.
A kickboxing routine for fitness usually begins with a warm up. Jogging in place and jumping jacks are the usual routines that mark the beginning of the regimen. It serves to prep the body by elevating the heart rate and warming up the muscle so that the main kickboxing routine can be done without injury or strain. The actual kickboxing routine is a series of repetitive motions involving punches, kicks and knee strikes. These stylized moves are done without the use of special equipment. No punching bags are used. Instead practitioners punch to the air. After the main workout session, a cool down period involving some stretches mark to end the exercise.
The atmosphere of fun pervades the entire session. And since the moves are set to music, it's an easier workout to follow. The rhythm helps individuals get to their weight loss goals faster since they are more inclined to stick with the routine. A regular hour long session can burn 300 to 400 calories, making cardio kickboxing an ideal workout routine for those seeking to lose weight. And because it is marked by continuous movement, it also encourages the heart to work harder, strengthening it in the process. In case you are new to this routine, don't go beyond your comfort zone during your first few tries. Kick low until you have confidently mastered proper form and technique to kick higher. When you punch, be sure that you don't lock out your elbows. Don't jog if you have joint issues, but walk in place instead. Should there be any pain during the regimen, stop right away and resume only when it has dissipated. Should the pain persist, consult your doctor. In fact, if you have any preexisting conditions or are fifty years old or above, you should always consult your doctor before beginning this regimen.
There are many gyms offering cardio kickboxing instruction under certified fitness instructors. The main advantage of working out in the gym is that you can get motivation from your peers who are in the same boat as you are. If you don't have time or feel that a gym environment is much too crowded for comfort, you can always buy a video and do the exercise at home.
Be sure to read our shocking TurboJam reviews and find out how you can lose weight now. If you want the best home fitness program for getting fit fast, buy TurboJam.

Muscle Building Diet Info - Part 1

In previous articles, we looked at various characteristics that your workouts would have to have for maximum muscle building. But training is only one part of the overall process.

Your muscle building program will never be 'complete' unless you have the right diet.

When trying to building muscle, the first thing you need to think about is your overall caloric intake. You've heard it a million times, and it's true - gaining weight and losing weight is all about calories in vs. calories out. If you consume more calories than you burn up, then you're going to gain weight. If you burn up more calories than you consume, then you're going to lose weight. It's as simple as that.

Now, most people think of that little equation when they want to lose weight, or keep from gaining fat. They're usually worried that if they take in more calories than they burn up, they're gonna gain weight, and that weight is going to be fat. Now, for the most part, that's true. However, the same principles apply when talking about putting on muscle.

See, you can never put on more bodyweight (be it muscle or fat) unless you're consuming enough calories. You'll never add 20 pounds of lean muscle or add an inch to your arms when if you're barely eating. It just won't happen. It would be like trying to build a huge office building with only one truckload of bricks. It's just not going to be enough.

So the first thing you need to make sure of is that you're eating enough. You don't have to go crazy and eat 8000 or 9000 calories per day like some of the bodybuilding magazines tell you to do. You can start off by just adding 500 calories per day to your diet - that will do a lot more than you probably think. And 500 calories isn't that much on a daily basis - you wouldn't be adding crazy amounts of food to what you already consume.

If you're really small and have a fast metabolism, you could even go for 1000 extra calories per day. (I've got a fairly extreme example you could follow that I'll tell you about at the end of this article.)

After ensuring that you're consuming enough calories, you need to make sure that a fair number of those calories are coming from protein.

Protein essentially is muscle. Protein is made up of amino acids, and it's amino acids that are known as the "building blocks of muscle". So when you consume protein, you're consuming the very thing that's going to directly go toward building extra muscle. So you have to make sure your protein consumption is high.

That doesn't mean you have to go totally overboard, though. There are some recommendations out there that are just nuts - 2-2.5 grams of protein per pound of bodyweight, 400-500 grams of protein per day...wow. That's nuts.

For more no nonsense muscle building information then check out No Nonsense Muscle Building #1.

***Book Smart vs. Street Smart

We all know people who are "book smart" but clueless in the real world, and those who are "street smart" but unable to handle any environment other than the one they're used to. Last season The Apprentice was based on this dichotomy, pitting a team of people with higher education against a team whose members had less formal education. When you look closely at both sides of the spectrum, you realize that the key ingredient to success is experience. Experience comes from action and action is synonymous with doing.
Learning by doing comes down to proving yourself. When I was in school, I worked hard and even studied foreclosures in my spare time. This wouldn't have meant much, though, if I hadn't put my knowledge to the test by actually finding a foreclosure to invest in and then doing it.
I found a 1,200 unit residential development that had 800 vacant apartments. It had become a disaster. The developers had gone under and the government had foreclosed, but I saw it as a great opportunity to learn by doing. I learned a lot, and I made a good profit. Plus, I got the confidence to move forward in my real estate career.
This would not have happened if I hadn't put my knowledge to work for me. It also wouldn't have happened if I hadn't spent time studying and preparing for such an opportunity. Learning and doing have to work together to be effective. Knowledge alone isn't enough. You have to act on it, but it's hard to do anything effectively without good information.
Did you ever notice how easy some things look until you try them yourself? Golf can look effortless and non-athletic until you try to play a decent game. Suddenly, it takes on an entirely new dimension. Don't underestimate anything until you've tried it yourself. The real pros make extremely difficult maneuvers look easy because they've spent thousands of hours perfecting their technique. You probably haven't seen them practicing, but they have been. They're not armchair golfers; they've been out there doing it for a long time. It's one thing to prepare, but it's another thing to do.
I think a lot of people are afraid to fail so they don't try. They talk, but don't do. That's a great formula for failure. My advice is to take some risks, even if you fail. There has never been and there will never be an Olympic ice skater who hasn't taken a spill on the ice, no matter how much she knew about ice-skating. She's acquired her skill by doing, not by watching.
When I was interested in acquiring the Commodore Hotel near Grand Central years ago, a friend told reporters my idea was like "fighting for a seat on the Titanic." I worked against great odds, but the Hyatt Hotel not only became a huge success, it began the redevelopment of the dilapidated area around Grand Central. I learned by doing, but I was also motivated by all the talkers who just complained about how crummy the area had become. They made me think: Why not do something about it instead?
Apply this thinking to yourself and to your situation. You will not only learn a lot, you will learn how much you didn't know, which is equally important. So give yourself a challenge, not once in awhile, but every day.
Knowledge requires patience; action requires courage. Put them both together and you'll be a winner.

4 Kinds of HGH Supplements

HGH Supplements are useful in boosting protein production in your body. The protein production in your body reduces as you grow old, and these Supplements are considered effective in filling the deficiencies such as weight loss, feeble bones and muscles and overall weakness.
HGH Pills
HGH pills are considered to be the safest and easiest kind of different HGH Supplements available in the market. One reason for this is that you can buy the HGH pills from your nearest drugstores without a doctor's prescription. In the case of HGH injections, you need to have your doctor's prescription to buy it. Another reason is that you can swallow the HGH pill at home, office or any other suitable place of your choice. You just have to follow your doctor's instructions about the appropriate time

Clarify Your Vision

Clarifying you vision is the first step to achieving your dream. It will be difficult to step into your life dream if you don't have a definite vision of what that is. Creating a unique vision means clearing away all the doubt and fears you may harbor about accomplishing your dream. If you are willing to step into the process with soul-searching honesty and a deep desire to live your dream, you are well on the way.
Once you've defined your dream (along with the compelling reasons WHY it is important) then the next step is to ask yourself this absolutely essential question:
"What is the work that my dream is asking me to do to achieve it?"
Plan from the End Back
Take the vision of what your life will look like when you achieve your dream. Now think backwards from there to clarify what steps you will want to take to reach this dream. Mapping this out is a great visual exercise in becoming clear about the steps that will be necessary to complete your vision. Allow yourself to brainstorm ideas without any limitations. Let the creative juices flow!

12 Simple Ways to Overcome Negative Thinking

Negative thoughts can have serious and damaging effects on our life. To get the most out of life you must find ways to overcome negative thinking.
We have all at some time or other harbored self-defeating, limiting thoughts when embarking on a new goal, challenge, venture or experience.
For many, such negative thinking often leads to the abandonment of so many goals and dreams.
When negative thinking takes a hold, it robs you of the opportunity to thrive, achieve excel in the world.
I've succumbed to this debilitating way of thinking so many times in my life, causing me no end of struggle, pain and frustration.
The thing is, success, prosperity and happiness are entitlements afforded to us all.
However, hopes of any of this being achieved, hinge on all the negative and limiting thoughts being eradicated from one's life completely.
Below I'd like to suggest some simple but very effective ways which I regularly use on how to overcome negative thinking patterns:
1. Smile.
This is the easiest way to overcome negative thinking. If you have a smile on your face, it becomes more difficult to think negatively. And it is contagious; it will literally cause people around you to start smiling as well. If you're in a bad mood and don't feel like smiling, force yourself to. Before you know it, you will start feeling better.
2. Sing.
Probably one of the best ways to overcome negative thinking is to put on some cheerful music and sing along. Even if you don't know the lyrics, just the act of singing will instantly put you in a positive mood.
3. Remember The Things That You Are Grateful For.
When you're overcome by the power of negative thoughts, it helps to remind yourself of the positive. Sit down and make a list of the things that you are grateful for. These can be as simple as a sunny day, a repeat of a favorite TV program, and a good meal, or as big as a clean bill of health, a promotion, and an answered prayer.
4. Have A Sense Of Humor.
When things don't go as you planned and you start feeling bad, try to maintain a good sense of humor. This can be difficult, yes, but once you learn how to see the funny side in everything, pitfalls and blunders won't get to you as much as they used to.
5. Use Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations are positive statements that you repeatedly say out loud or to yourself.
Repeating these positive affirmations with emotion and feeling everyday will not only lift your general mood, but more importantly it will begin to challenge and erase deep seated negative beliefs within your subconscious mind and replace with more positive, inspiring beliefs.
6. Get Active
Research has shown that physical activity and exercise stimulates the production of endorphins or 'happy chemicals' in the brain that lift your mood and make you feel good. When I feel a little anxious or agitated, going out for a run or a ride on the bike always works wonders for my state of mind.
7. Surround Yourself With Positive Thinkers.
When you're stuck in a spiral of negativity, it won't help to be around people who will only feed your negative thinking. At times like these, it pays to have friends who will help you put things into perspective, and cheer you up.
8. Practice Yoga Or Meditation.
These exercises teach you to be calm and help you achieve emotional and spiritual peace, allowing you to take more control of your thoughts and mind.
9. Think Positive.
To overcome negative thinking, try to shift the tone of your thoughts from negative to positive. Instead of thinking, "This is going to be a really stressful month for our team", say to yourself, "We will be facing some interesting challenges this month, but if we work together and do our best it will all pay off in the end".
10. Help Someone.
Sometimes, the simplest way to overcome negative thinking is to take the focus off of you. Do something that benefits another person. Even simple acts of generosity and selflessness will take your mind off of things and leave you with a feeling of gladness.
11. Accept Failure.
Another way to overcome negative thinking is to stop fearing failure. Be comfortable with it. Befriend it. No matter how much you try to avoid failure, accept that it is part of life.
12. Take Responsibility For Your Life.
You have choices. If you feel stuck, know that no one can stop you from moving forward and upward in your life. Don't play the victim. Be the master of your own fate. This is one of the best tips to overcome negative thinking: realize that you create your own life.

20 Do's & Don'ts of a Functional Relationship

1. Who you think you are is important. Like attracts like. Do you like who you are?
2. What you want in a relationship is important, and when you are willing to ask for it, you will be able to create it. But only ask for what you want when you are clear about what it is. Until then, don't go around demanding things you just think you should have.
3. We get exactly what we focus on. The problem or the solution. We make a choice between them with every decision we make.
4. Tell yourself the truth about what you want, not what others (family, friends, spouse) say you should have.
5. Tell everyone else your truth about what you want. Don't be afraid to share your vision and dreams with those you love.
6. You are not defined by your relationships unless you choose to be. Consider what it says about you if you deed over you soul to one.
7. Interdependent (two independent people) relationships are the only ones that work, long term.
8. Truth is the first thing necessary to create trust in our relationships. Respect is earned from trust, and love is earned from respect. Intimacy is the gift we get when we risk telling the truth.
* See the hierarchy of a functional relationship
9. Fear of intimacy is fear of the truth. Your truth is better for you than someone else's. Just get to know what it is, so you can finally own it, and speak it..
10. If your relationship is not getting better, it is probable getting worse. Life is dynamic and nothing ever stays the same.
11. Every relationship is unique. It takes what it takes to work. If you want it to work, you have to work it. No shortcuts. No 50/50 deals.
12. It's not your job to fix your mate, and it's not his or her job to fix you. Take the relationship and what your mate says at face value and stop reading into it what you'd like to hear. We can work with what's real. It's impossible to deal with what's not real.
13. Unconditional love is an inside job. If you haven't gotten it by now, guess what...start working from within. When you can give it to yourself, you'll be ready to give it to someone else. If you can give it to someone else, you'll recognize it when it's given to you.
14. If you both are committed to creating a functional relationship, agree to start doing it today, without any judgments about the past. Be willing to work in the solution and let go of your need to control the outcome, moment to moment, one day at a time. Joy can only be experienced in the present moment
15. Most of our fears about what may happen in this relationship are really fears we experienced in past relationships, and have nothing to do with this person. Come to grips with what's real and what's Memorex! .
16. When in an argument, ask yourself Does this really PASS THE SO WHAT TEST? For you to be right does the other person have to be wrong? Think about it. Life is short. Don't waste it on arguments that have no meaning or purpose. You can always agree to disagree if you need to.
Then laugh about it, and go on to the next thing. Start observing your need to argue as just another dysfunctional, immature habit that needs to be broken.
17. When we finally learn to say we are sorry (at 3 or 93) we get to finally hear we are O.K. To error is human, and there is great virtue in all forgiveness, ourselves included. The best way to teach our children this lesson is by watching us demonstrate it.
18. Any negative, hurtful or sarcastic remark is abusive. Like a sharp knife, each word will carve out a chunk of a loving relationship that can never grow back. Please consider the source and outcome of your remarks, before you open you mouth to tell your truth.
19. Never let a day go by without saying and showing how much your relationship and partner mean to you. Never take a moment for granted. Express how grateful you are for your good fortune, however meek or humble it may be. Appreciation and gratefulness have magic in them. It seems the more we express them, the more reasons we are given to say thank you.
20. To have a functional relationship you have to be willing to risk loosing it everyday, by telling your truth. If you don't feel free to tell your truth, start asking yourself why you think it's so important to stay, and what else you are willing to loose besides your self-esteem.
For starters, you can ask your mate to tell their truth, and be willing to accept it at face value, without judgment. Now you both get to finally know the truth, and, if you each want a relationship based on what's real for both of you.
.....for optimum results, start doing this in the first five minutes of meeting anyone.
?Copyright 1999 E.K.Bernshaw All Rights Reserved Transitions- 858-643-0086
HIERARCHY OF A FUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP
INTIMACY
LOVE
RESPECT
TRUST
TRUTH
What is a functional relationship?
Without the beginning base of truth in a relationship, trust cannot occur. Without the development of trust, respect will never be born. Without a level of respect for another, a functional relationship of love will not seed and nourish the partners. Intimacy occurs when we become willing to share our whole selves with another in this order. It is the gift we get when we learn to engage in a balanced, loving
and functional relationship.
© Copyright 1999 E.K.Bernshaw All Rights Reserved
www.transitionscounseling.com 619-224-4491 TRANSITIONS

Diabulimia - The Rise Of A New Eating Disorder?

Diabulimia is a condition that few know about. It is currently under recognized but needs attention as it is becoming more common. With little public awareness, more deaths can occur due to complications that arise. This condition arose as more young patients are found to be afflicted with Type 1 diabetes. If you look at the term "diabulimia" closely, you will find that it is made up of the terms "diabetes" and "bulimia". Although diabulimia is not considered an eating disorder per se, it can be likened to a body image disorder.
Type 1 diabetics produce little or no insulin. As there is no cure, they have no choice but to take daily insulin shots in order to survive. Type 1 diabetes can inflict children from a young age and young adults and statistics show that this is a rising number. However, some young patients got to learn that their body is dependent on insulin, and that insulin is an anabolic or storage hormone. With insulin encouraging fat storage, they get to know that weight gain is a possible consequence with taking insulin shots. Therefore, to avoid putting on weight, these patients start to skip doses and manipulate taking their insulin shots.
In a bulimics, the sufferers often try to manage their weight through vomiting or other forms of behavior so that their bodies do not put on the calories from being eating. Bulimics suffer from a body image disorder and generally have low self esteem and confidence.
For diabulimics, patients wise up to the technique on using insulin shots pretty quickly. They take just enough insulin to avoid going into diabetic ketoacidosis, and narrowly avoiding hospitalization. However, this is potentially very dangerous. If a Type 1 diabetic does not take the required insulin dosages, he or she risks dehydration, fatigue and a breakdown in muscle tissue. Other complications include eye and kidney failure and a high risk of coma, amputation and even death.
Unfortunately, a diabulimia is not recognized as a medical condition, unlike anorexia or bulimia. In fact, not enough is know about it. On the other hand, the American Diabetes Association has long known about insulin omission as a tactic for weight control. An expert recently provided an estimate. He suggested "that 450,000 Type 1 diabetic women in the United States

***Ask An Herbalist-What kinds of makeup are safe?

Q. I attended your seminar in Virginia, and you talked about the impact of estrogen in cosmetics. What exactly should I look for, and what kinds of makeup are safe?
A. The compounds found in cosmetics are more correctly called zeno-estrogens, which means "false" or estrogen-like. Most of these are petroleum-based chemicals used as emulsifiers, texturizers, pigments, and preservatives. Look for things like mineral oil, PEG (usually followed by a number from 10 to 100), propylene glycol, stearates, ect. These compounds have a similar molecular "tail" to estrogens, and are capable of interacting with estrogen receptors in the body in a completely unordered way , of course. They can also be easily absorbed into the blood stream through the skin, bypassing the protection of the liver on the first trip through the body. (More information can be found in Dr. John R. Lee's book, What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Menopause.) In effect, they become like a full face hormone patch-creating utter chaos in the endocrine system. (While I certainly don't recommend it, it would be safer to eat most cosmetics, than to wear them.) Some of the conditions that I believe can be at least partially traced to the effect of these chemicals include irregular or excessively heavy menstruation, early onset of peri-menopausal symptoms, and even infertility. Liver cleansing herbs, particularly Burdock or Yellow Dock, can help clear the metabolized residues from the body once their intrusion has been stopped.
If the truth were told, there are few things more becoming to a person-man or woman-than healthy, vibrant, glowing, CLEAN skin. If a tiny fraction of the money spent in our culture for ego-pumping "war paint" was spent instead on products that actually maintain the health of the skin and its internal support system instead of covering up its problems, we would be a far more beautiful society. Sadly, that's not a terribly realistic goal in this day and age. There are even circumstances when the need for a little camouflage or enhancement may be justified, but the cosmetics used should be free of these ubiquitous offending compounds.
Currently, the best choice seems to be the growing class of "pure mineral" dusting pigments. My wife's favorite is from Jane Iredale. Another company is Bare Minerals. I'm sure there are more. Interestingly, the reflective nature of many of the minerals used in these make-up lines may actually help protect the skin from sun damage more than even some of the highly touted-and highly occlusive-petroleum based sunscreen products on the market.

African Mango Diet

The secret of this mini miracle is that the extract from the seed of the mango has the ability to cut down fat production. At the same time it helps in clearing out waste resins which are stopping the flow of liquid fats in the body and thus making you look shaggy.

If you are considering using the African Mango diet pill then its important to learn real results from real people. This article will help you with information on African mango and some weight loss studies carried out. Many people struggle with losing weight. They turn to prescription diet pills for help only to find the side effects are worse than being overweight.

African Mango Diet makes losing weight a breeze, you don't even have to go through any kind of side effects to have a brand new body that you can be happy to flaunt and get compliments on. It is showing a lot of promise, but if you decide to give it a try, do not forget exercise and a healthy nutrition should still be a priority to get yourself healthier.

The name of this ultimate supplement is African Mango diet pill. Coming straight from the African rain forests the diet pill boasts of a 100 percent natural mango fiber. The overall effect is that similar to a mini miracle. However the best results are often found to be a bit more exaggerated. It is true that the mango pill has the capability to surprise you with everlasting results within a month's time.

Obesity is now a growing problem which plagues millions of people around the world. Modern medical research shows that 1 out of 3 people found to be overweight or obese. In such cases, these individuals must undergo weight loss programs. Some obesity could be genetic while some become one as a result of modified foods and polysaturated fat intake. The diet pills supplement covers all diseases linked to obesity including diabetes, African Mango Diet is found in deep Africa and is changing the way people lose weight across the world. For some it has helped them shed over 12 pounds in less than 30 days, and for those people their lives have been changed for the better.

That's when I decided to try African Mango Diet extract in my quest to get rid of my belly fat and other fat distributed across my body. A lot of people might think that that is not impressive, but bear in mind I did my experiment without changing my eating habits or any kind of exercise. Ultimately, taking an African mango weight loss pill can be one of the best weight loss tools you have. Unlike other diet pills, this diet pill has no reported adverse effects, except occasional flatulence and headaches.

Gary Alvarado spent three decades being a freelance, catering services. In this period of time, he worked with pretty much every major Ottawa Company.

For those who have found the info in this resource to be of assistance, be sure to visit,http://theforkliftcertification.com

CocoPure Chocolate Tea For Weight Loss

Cocopure chocolate tea is a new, revolutionary product that combines Resveratrol and green tea extracts with cocoa to form an antioxidant-rich beverage that can be served either hot or cold. Forget about the stereotype that comes to mind when you think of cocoa - the chocolate bars, chocolate cake, and the like. Cocopure is a healthy drink that contains a very low amount of calories (ten per 7.4 grams) while serving up a super-sized amount of energy, while providing other benefits such as cardiovascular and arterial health, healthy cholesterol levels, and a boost to your immune system. Never thought you would associate those benefits with cocoa, did you?
If you're someone constantly on the run, but you've grown out of the carbonated drinks phase, and aren't a coffee lover, Cocopure chocolate tea is a great answer. Or, even if you still like your coffee, why not throw some Cocopure chocolate tea in to spruce up the taste without adding all the sugars and carbs that come from other sweeteners? This is the perfect combination of health and energy, both of which are at the forefront of American's minds when it comes to consumer products. And unlike the unhealthy energy drinks, when Cocopure delivers a burst of energy, you won't have to worry about falling right to sleep, or crashing.
Since Cocopure is comprised of pure cocoa, this makes it a drink that anyone (yes, even diabetics) can enjoy! The problem with the processed chocolate found in candies and treats is that corn syrup, oils, and other elements were used in making them. This brings a negative connotation to the word cocoa or anything associated with it, even though it has been proven that cocoa in its pure state provides several health benefits. The only thing that's hard to believe about Cocopure is how long it has taken for it to be developed! It's hard to imagine anyone would turn down trying a great tasting and healthy drink for some of the "Americanized" food that we know all too well these days.
Lastly, Cocopure developers offer free trials of the product, so as clich? as it sounds, there is nothing to lose. Whether you're looking for a good meal replacement, an energy supplement, or would just like a healthier alternative to the foods we are surrounded by day in and day out, Cocopure chocolate tea is the solution.
Drink it cold with some yogurt for an early morning meal, toss a spoon in your coffee to give you a boost, or just warm up a cup on a chilly night. The concentrated green tea in Cocopure provides the body with loads of antioxidants (several times the amount per serving over regular green tea), which helps ward off free radicals in the system, and boosts the immune system.
The difference in Cocopure is all about the non-processing and the natural state in which it's served. You may get some benefits of cocoa from drinking a cup of chocolate milk, but is it worth all the extra fat and calories that come along with it? Cocopure is well known for its great taste as well, so you really don't have anything to lose by trying it.

Common Causes and Treatments for Hypopigmentation: White Spots on Skin

When skin is damaged by UV exposure two conditions can occur: hyperpigmentation, and hypopigmentation. The first, hyperpigmentation, is the occurance of dark "sunspots" that form as the body produces melanocytes that absorb the UV radiation and prevent it from causing damage to the deeper layers of skin. Hypopigmentation occurs after a trauma to the skin, and yes, overexposure to sun counts as a trauma. Excess UV causes tiny "scars" on the skin, and those patches lose the ability to produce melanin, and the visible effect is white spots on the skin. These are typically surrounded by hyperpigmentation spots, and that is how you know these spots are a result of sun damage.
This condition is not dangerous or serious, but it is completely irreversible. Once the spots form, there is no way medical or esthetic to reverse the damage. The best way to treat is to prevent further damage by properly using sunscreen.
That being said, there are three ways to "mask" the damage.
1. The first is the application of self tanners. Self tanners will, temporarily, dye the skin cells and cover the hypopigmentation. You can have these products applied professionally, or you can do it yourself at home (but be careful, watch for streaking!)
2. The second is the application of permanent makeup to cover the damaged areas with pigment. The permanent makeup artist will match the color to your skin tone, and usually the damaged area is completely neutralized by the application.
3. By using microdermabrasion and chemical peels to neutralize the hyperpigmentation (dark spots) you can see an improvement in skin tone, as the lighter patches do not stand out as noticeably.
Lastly, these solutions apply to hypopigmentation spots caused by sun damage; there are several other causes for hypopigmentation, so it is best to consult a medical professional to rule out the following conditions:

3 Steps to Ending Homelessness

It is possible to end homelessness. How? There are three steps to ending homelessness. These steps can be approached individually or at the same time.
Step One: Open public toilets 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with showers and laundry facilities.
Having worked with people in the streets for over twenty years, the reason for public facilities seems obvious to me, but perhaps it is not obvious to everyone: human dignity.
Housed people generally have access to toilets and showers, sometimes even bathtubs, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Bathing is a cleansing, refreshing, often even therapeutic experience. Further, housed people either have their own laundry facilities or can afford the cleaning costs at a local laundromat. Wearing clean, fresh clothing is essential for good hygiene and can improve a person's emotional state.
Giving homeless people access to public toilets and showers with laundry facilities shows respect for and helps with restoration of their human dignity. Having lost nearly every worldly possession, homeless men, women and children are still human beings and have, just like housed people, their basic human needs. A homeless person is often left searching for a public toilet and an available shower. He or she may not have the funds to spend at a laundromat.
Of course, shelter programs have toilets and showers, and often laundry facilities, that are available to homeless people in their program. There may also be a day drop-in center in some cities where a homeless person can use the bathroom, get a shower and sometimes even do his or her laundry. And, many of our public beaches have pubic toilets and sometimes cold-water showers that are available during the day and that usually close at dusk.
However, are there any public facilities available to homeless people at night? Laundromats? Showers? Are there even public toilets?
Is it logical to complain about public urination and public defecation when there are no public toilets available?
Step Two: Support transitional housing with social services where individuals, couples and families can live.
Most homeless shelters are temporary facilities where people can live for twenty to thirty days. Only a few shelters in every city permit people to stay more than one year. The concept behind temporary shelters is that these shelters are just that - temporary places where a person or family can live in a stable, supportive environment during a time of crisis. Often these shelters help the residents connect with government programs in their area.
The concept of transitional housing with social services for the residents has been adopted by nonprofits in some cities in the United States. Transitional housing is usually available for a term of one year or more so that the people involved have a substantial period of time within which to make the transition from the crisis that they were in to the new life that they are making for themselves.
Ideally, the social services provided to residents of transitional housing would include job finding, apartment finding, psychological support, as well as dental and medical referrals.
Step Three: Turn a closed military base into a self-sufficient village where homeless men, women and children could reside.
Finding affordable housing is the ultimate challenge facing a homeless person. However, using a closed military base as the setting for a self-sufficient village created with the assistance of nonprofit organizations would solve this challenge for homeless people.
In this self-sufficient village, there could be buildings with apartments for individuals, couples and families; an orphanage for the care of "unaccompanied youth;" buildings for the treatment of people with single medical diagnosis and multiple medical diagnoses; cottage industries; and organic farming. The children, and adults if they so chose, could study in existing schools in their area.
At first, this self-sufficient village could be led by a community council composed of the representatives of the organizing nonprofits who would train the residents to replace themselves on the council. The residents could then vote to fill the seats of the community council with their own representatives.
"Not in my backyard" is a primary objection made by housed people to having any homeless support center created in their neighborhood. This objection is overcome by using a closed military base to provide a place that would actually welcome homeless people and where homeless people would enjoy residing.
I look forward to your comments.
Thank you, Christine

***Al and Tipper Gore's Marriage - What Happened?

Let's face it, long time relationships sometimes end. And the simple truth is there isn't always a compelling reason or reasons why. The separation of Al and Tipper Gore after 40 years of marriage is a good illustration of the "why" question - why did their love affair end after all these years?
Here is what we know to be true - 40-year marriages rarely ever end in divorce! The Gores are now officially separated. Whether they ultimately end up getting a divorce is anybody's guess, even theirs! But getting a divorce after 40 years defies the odds - it rarely happens - it is an anomaly. It almost never happens!
So the question of the day is, "Why are Al and Tipper separating?" The second most important question is, "Did anybody see it coming?"
After studying successfully married couples on six of the world's seven continents over the past three decades, we have learned a lot about why marriages succeed. While we do not know the Gores personally, we bet we could have predicted their separation by simply interviewing them on our time-tested interview protocol.
You see, understanding what makes marriage successful is not really all that mysterious. It is actually pretty simple if you want to know the truth. And given the rarity of divorce after 40 years of marriage, we believe there is more to this story than meets the eye.
The most important notion we have learned about over the past three decades, and now understand completely because of our years of research on successful marriage, is the notion we have come to call, "a pervasive characteristic."
In the simplest of terms, a pervasive characteristic is "a recurring pattern of thought and behavior." It's kind of like this old saying, "If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and walks like a duck, it is probably a duck!"
In a nutshell, it is a way of saying that a person can learn to hide who they are, but in the end, they are who they are. The recurring pattern of thought and behavior that they exhibit tells you who they really are! You can cover up who you are for awhile, you can fool some of the people some of the time, but in the end, the real truth about you will prevail.
Relationships between two people exhibit pretty much the same blueprint. All relationships exhibit recurring patterns of thought and behavior. If you pay close attention, the patterns will emerge and you will learn a lot about the relationship between the two people you are observing.
So where does all this prelude lead? The truth is, the demise of the relationship between Al and Tipper Gore should not have come as a surprise to the thoughtful and detached observer. Their marriage, irrespective of its length, would have revealed to the world their real relationship through the pervasive characteristics their marriage exhibited over the years. Pervasive characteristics are powerful. They tell you all you need to know about a loving relationship between two human beings.
In the end, we would conclude the following regarding why long-term marriages like the Gore's 40-year marriage fail:
1. If their long-term marriage was truly a successful marriage (long-term does NOT equal successful!), they would not be separating from each other. The warning signs had to be there for a long time - perhaps, from the beginning. The "pervasive characteristics" of their marriage probably told the truth about their relationship, but due to a variety of reasons (politics, children, well-known parents, etc.), they were probably ignored. In the end, the truth about their relationship will prevail.
2. One of the absolutely essential ingredients of a successful marriage is this - when you get married, you "turn two into one without losing individual identities." Over the years, the Gores had increasingly lead two separate lives - he the environmentalist and she the author and photographer. They went their separate ways. They no longer shared much "common ground" in their marriage. Instead of a marriage in which they were defined together, they became a marriage defined by their individual identities. Sharing common ground is an essential ingredient of a successful marriage.
3. We bet the Gores no longer talk about anything and everything. They had developed in their relationship with each other, "sacred cows" - those issues and items they no longer talked about in their marriage. The best marriages we have studied over the years have no "sacred cows." They talk about anything and everything. Our guess - the Gores left too many important issues left un-discussed and un-addressed. One of the tale-tail signs of a failing relationship is this - the couple finds things to NOT talk about. Bad idea and never a hallmark of a successful marriage.
4. The most successful marriages always report to us during our interviews that the one they love the most - their spouse - is their best friend. It is never enough to be in love! A successful marriage requires being in love and being best friends! Our guess, Al and Tipper have been in love, but have probably never been best friends. Being "best friends" is the defining characteristic of most successful marriages.
5. And finally, Al and Tipper didn't make their relationship with each other come first. They had too many diversions. Al was traveling around the world without Tipper spreading his environmental message. Tipper was in to her photographer and writing. We are not saying that people in love should not maintain their interests and passions, but to do so at the expense of your spouse is to invite disaster in your marriage.
We suspect that the "pervasive characteristics" of Al and Tipper's marriage have been obvious for a long time. A failed marriage, irrespective of its length, is not immune from the characteristics that define the marriage. In the end, any marriage is what it is - for good or for bad.
Heed the tale tail signs. Simple Things Matter in love and marriage. Love well!
By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz
For more tips to enhance your relationship get the Doctor's best-selling and multiple-award winning book Building a Love that Lasts: The Seven Surprising Secrets of Successful Marriage (Jossey-Bass/Wiley 2010) Available wherever books are sold.
Winner of the INDIE Book Awards GOLD Medal for Best Relationship Book
Winner of the 2009 Mom's Choice Awards GOLD Medal for Most Outstanding Relationships and Marriage Book
2009 Nautilus Book Awards Winner for Relationships

***Being In the World, not OF it

Being in the world but not of it

***Expert Q&A: How to Recover from a Bad Mood

In a column about relationships, it's easy to overlook that the number one person you must always relate to is yourself. Yet, sometimes, when circumstances make us veer off our usual course, we get irritable, pessimistic and just plain old down in the dumps. Here are some tips to help you strengthen your positive coping skills, gain a perspective, a sense of control and feel better.
1. Be aware, know your physical reactions. Make friends with your body. Be on the look-out for your body's personalized ways of signaling you that you are stressed. Do you get headaches? An upset stomach? A racing heart? Do you feel as though an elephant is sitting on your chest? Knowing and recognizing your somatic symptoms will allow you to get into solution mode quicker.
2. Link your physical reactions with your emotions. Now that your body's warning signals have put you on alert, name the emotions that usually trigger these reactions. For example, if your stomach churns every time you have to give a presentation, you know that you are feeling anxious. Or, if you feel listless after a negative review or fight with your partner, then you know that you are feeling depressed.
3. Identify similar situations and physical reactions that have happened to you in your past. To paraphrase the famous philosopher and writer, George Santayana, if you can't recognize your past situations, you just might end up repeating your unpleasant emotions and not be able to change them. Our present--and future--is connected to our past, whether we like it or not. Imagine, for instance, that all your negative experiences with bosses are lights that are strung on the same chord. When one bad experience happens, your other unpleasant ones light up, too. Of course, the brain-body connection does not work quite that simply, but many memories and the feeling associated with them get activated in the brain. When you can identify past similar situations, you are more able to develop targeted strategies to adjust your mood.
4. Make a list of the successful steps you took in the past to change your mood. If a technique worked once, it might work again. When one of my clients became depressed after months of job searching, she realled a similar time in her past. She remembered how she volunteered to build her resume and connections. She also recalled that she sent out many more queries than she sent out this time. Apply any successful solutions that worked for you previously. Adjust them to fit the current situation.
5. Develop positive self-talk. If you have been successful in the past with similar situations and negative moods, make a list of the solutions that worked. Make a list of all your accomplishments and positive attributes. Think about all the words of encouragement you used to make you feel better. Usually, these pep talks address two distinct processes:
Restoring a positive self-view
Getting a perspective
In the example where my client was not seeking employment productively, she restored her self-view by making a list of her educational and career accomplishments and her positive characteristics. She felt good about completing college and a masters degree while raising two children, and she reminded herself that she is hard-working and ethical.
She also recalled her parents' criticism of her. They said she was "not the smart one." By connecting her past to her present mood, she was able to lessen the impact of her parents' words by saying to herself, "They were wrong."
She got perspective by recalling how long it took her to find a job in the past and how she is not alone. Millions of people--good, decent, smart people are also out of work.
These pep talks prevented her from giving up--or beating herself up emotionally.
6. Smile and laugh. Read the funnies, recall fun times, look at photos from vacations or holidays. In other words, activate the pleasure centers in your brain and use them to jump-start positive feelings. When we feel happy, we beat the blues and become more productive.
7. Connect. Call a friend, send an e-mail. Social support soothes us. Join a support group or develop a buddy system where you can call a friend who can empathize. And one of the best medicines is to do volunteer work.
8. Do a task. Sometimes bad situations overwhelm us so much that we can't get anything done. Set a goal to do at least one task a day. The act of completing a goal can make you feel more in charge.
9. Change your setting. Get up, go for a walk, take a hot shower, run an errand. Changing your environment signals your brain to activate different neural connections. People often, for example, come up with ideas and solutions when driving or taking a bath.
10. Develop gratitude. Make a list of all the things that make you feel grateful. You might think about your health, your family, your job or anything that makes you feel luckier than the people you hear about in the news. Sometimes, when we realize that we are lucky, we are also motivated to give back.
Copyright © 2012 QualityHealth.com. All rights reserved.

Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa And Compulsive Overeating

Eating disorders have become quite a well known problem, with millions of people affected. Eating disorders are a disease that is progressive and incurable and the same type of disease as any other addiction. The sufferer is trapped in a helpless cycle of obsessive and compulsive behavior and unable to break free of the need to escape feelings and control.
Eating disorders are more common than most people think - not everyone with an eating disorder appears to be skeletal, although this does happen in severe cases. Many people with eating disorders are not at death's door and their lives are still relatively manageable, but because eating disorders are a disease that is progressive, the condition will worsen over time to a point where they will need help and their lives begin to fall apart.
Many sufferers are able to hide their problem and appear fine to their friends, family and associates. Yet on the inside they are trapped. Eating disorders are also a common problem for people with other addictive habits. Many people seeking treatment for drug addiction, alcoholism or any other addictive behaviors come to realize that they have an eating disorder accompanying their drug problem.
There are three main types of eating disorders that are well known and experienced. Aside from these three, many other types of disordered eating are documented including selective eating and body dysmorphic disorder.
The three most common types are Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa and compulsive over-eating. However, most eating disorder patients display traits of all three types as the root problem and this is generally the same in all sufferers, yet the action of dealing with these compulsions may be different.
Anorexia Nervosa
When an eating disorder manifests as Anorexia nervosa, the sufferer will starve themselves until death. Anorexics have an incredibly low self esteem and generally suffer from massive self hatred.
They have a need for control and dominate this need by restricting their food intake to virtually nothing, which is of course an irony as an anorexia nervosa sufferer is incredibly out of control in terms of being able to stop. A person can be diagnosed as an anorexic when they have reached a body weight of less than 85% of what their minimum weight should be according to their height and bone structure.
Anorexics have many tricks and cunning methods of losing weight and avoidance of eating food. Despite the anorexic being obsessed with food (generally an anorexic will think about food 100% of the time because this is a natural reaction of the body being exposed to starvation), their problem is not with food. Food is the medium through which they are able to fulfil their needs, yet the problem rests within the anorexic themselves in their behaviour.
Anorexics have an intense fear of gaining weight and/or getting fat and will do anything in their power to prevent it. Pretending to eat and hiding food, excessive exercising in secret, lying about weight loss and eating habits, wearing baggy clothing to disguise a thin body, distorted body image and excessive obsession with food and calories are all habitual tendencies of an anorexic.
Because the disease is so all consuming combined with the immense strain and damage to the body, an anorexic will become extremely depressed and aggressive. Visible symptoms of the disorder are obviously an immense weight loss, stopping of the menstrual cycle (in women), excessive exercising and a fear of food, a fine growth of hair on the body due to the body being incapable of generating its own heat due to lack of fuel and secretive and controlling behaviour around food. Death is the prognosis if the disorder is left untreated.
Bulimia Nervosa
Bulimia Nervosa is a disorder in which the sufferer will binge on food; sometimes enough for a small group of people, and follow this binge with some kind of compensatory behaviour to avoid weight gain. Compensatory behaviour is usually purging (self-induced vomiting), use of laxatives, excessive exercise and fasting. A bulimic will also have secret eating habits and an enormous fear of food and calories yet their body weight will usually remain normal or even slightly overweight due to some calories being absorbed by their bodies before they manage to purge.
Bulimia Nervosa is an escape from unbearable feelings. Also based on control, the bulimic is trapped in an unbreakable cycle of needing to binge and purge. Bulimics plan binges and purges and once they have binged, they go to immense lengths to be able to act out on their compensatory behaviour. Behavioural symptoms of bulimia are a person eating enormous amounts of food without gaining weight, secretive behaviour around food including stealing, disappearing to the toilet after eating, exercising heavily after eating and starving for a few days after eating.
Bulimia is incredibly stressful on the body. Sufferers may have bloated faces and glands, scars on their hands from rubbing their knuckles raw with inducing vomiting, cracked lips, rotten teeth and bad breath as well as bad skin condition. Because of the stresses placed on the body by consuming laxatives, vomiting and over exercising, the electrolyte balance in the blood of a bulimic will be imbalanced. The body also has to cope with the stretching of the stomach from bingeing. All these stresses put a bulimic is at risk of a heart attack, split larynx, burst stomach and intestine and organ failure.
Compulsive Overeating
A compulsive overeater is a person who is addicted to eating. They have no control over their bingeing but do not follow this with compensatory behaviour. The act of eating is intoxicating to them, just like a drug.
Compulsive overeaters are generally morbidly obese and have major health problems due to the excess weight.
As with anorexics and bulimics, a compulsive overeater has very low self worth and self hatred. This is the cause of a nasty cycle of self abuse - sufferers will over eat and then feel bad about themselves and then eat to avoid the feelings, after which they feel worse and on the cycle continues.
The symptoms of compulsive overeating are an inability to control consumption of food despite the consequences and the wish to be smaller and be able to control their eating. Secretive behaviour around food and eating such as stealing food, lying about eating habits and severe weight gain are also key symptoms.
Treatment
The treatment of an eating disorder in its most severe form will usually require inpatient treatment at a treatment centre. An eating disorder is a problem which has been ingrained and compulsively acted out on for years. These behaviours take time to break and mend and intense therapy will be required. The use of a Twelve Step Programme and a daily programme of recovery is necessary to make sure that the sufferer will not slip back into the old behaviours again once they have left treatment.
In therapy the behaviours will be addressed as well as patients eating a healthy diet and exercising, depending on their health.
With proper care and treatment in a nurturing environment, an eating disordered patient will be able to regain control over their life and learn to love themselves. Treatment will be a difficult time, but if the sufferer really desires help to arrest their condition, then they will be able to lead a normal life with a daily programme of recovery.